How I Became A Buddhist (And What It Really Means)

An essential introduction to Buddhism for the curious and open-minded

Photo by Ivan Samkov from Pexels

In my mid-twenties, my housemate, a regular guy who worked as a computer programmer, unexpectedly went to a psychic. Surprisingly, the psychic began speaking about me, the young woman who drank and smoked too much. She predicted I would meet a spiritual teacher or crossover in my early thirties.

That means die, in case it’s not clear.

I found this strange and spooky and largely put it out of my mind. I wasn’t a believer in psychics then. I wasn’t even a tad bit spiritually inclined. The possibility of becoming so seemed highly unlikely.

I lived near the sea in Santa Cruz, California, a town that magnetized surfers, valley girls, tourists, and seekers of alternative lifestyles. Later, I learned that the city and surrounding areas hosted a diverse spiritual culture, from WICCA covens to everyday churches to the Mt. Madonna Center, where the esteemed teacher, Baba Hari Dass, had been silent for over twenty years. He communicated by writing on a small chalkboard he wore around his neck.

But I lived in a different world. I ran a busy non-profit that helped battered women escape violent partners and counseled rape survivors.

My Unexpected Encounter with Buddhism

Suddenly, in my early thirties, as predicted but still unexpected, I stumbled into Buddhism.

A new housemate who was enthusiastic about meditation and Buddhism took me to talks and sittings held in a remodeled garage. But, I found the atmosphere of this particular group too stiff. Buddhism, I concluded, was not for me.

Or so I thought.

Soon after, curiosity brought me to another talk at the community center given by a different speaker—apparently, Santa Cruz was on the guru marketing route. I felt deeply moved by this man’s words and the unmistakable ambiance created by his presence.

Between jobs, I had time. So, I attended his weekend seminar on compassion. About forty of us sat on a grassy knoll above the ocean, listening intently to the lecture.

A few days later, I joined a ten-day retreat at the end of a long, bumpy, and, in some places, treacherous dirt road. Although I had to camp in a small tent and contracted a rip-roaring case of poison oak in an unspeakable region, by the end of the retreat, I was hooked on Buddhism.

Buddhism captured me because it made so much sense to my mind and heart. Even though I didn’t understand everything and thought all the Tibetan jargon didn’t concern me, the truth of the teachings spoke so clearly to both my conceptual and non-conceptual minds.

From a Buddhist perspective, I probably had a karmic connection from a past life that came to fruition. But a karmic connection won’t automatically keep you on the spiritual path. You must create new karma by applying yourself to study and practice.

Since then, I’ve attended hundreds of talks, seminars, and retreats on the teachings and practices of Tibetan Buddhism, including a three-year study and practice retreat. But most of the time, you would have found me working in the office, not sitting on a cushion.

Having left the care of abused women to others, I now worked at the corporate headquarters of O’Neill, the popular wetsuit manufacturer, while I trained to become a massage therapist. Eventually, I gave that up to organize the Dalai Lama’s visit to San Jose in 1989, which led me to manage the entire operation.

We never know what will happen next in our lives, do we? Stay curious and open. There may be unexpected adventures ahead.

The Many Colors of Buddhism

I won’t try to sell you on Buddhism. But, if you’re curious about it, you should know that it comes in many different shapes, sizes, and colors.

There’s the black-and-white simplicity of Zen, the vivid orange and red of Tibetan Buddhism, and the saffron-colored robes seen in Southeast Asia. Different hues exist even within a single tradition.

There are peaceful monks, learned scholars, wild, unconventional teachers, householders like you and me, and even cave-dwelling yogis and yoginis in modern times.

The Buddha gave 84,000 teachings and taught in different ways according to the capacity of those he met.

His teachings are divided into three main categories (known as “vehicles”), which respectively emphasize:

• Peace (Theravada)

• Love and compassion (Mahayana),

• Skillful means for developing wisdom (Vajrayana)

As you can see, there isn’t just one Buddhism. Although a few core principles run through all three vehicles (the idea of “no self,” for example), the language and approaches can vary dramatically. Indeed, in some instances, the same word can have a different meaning depending upon the tradition you follow.

Whatever assumptions you hold about Buddhism, you may find a version that exists in a fascinatingly different form. If you don’t like the first tradition you encounter, you might adore the next.

Lotus flowers have long been a symbol of personal transformation in Buddhism. Image by Pieonane on Pexels

The Essence of Buddhism in Four Lines and Less

The teachings of the Buddha are vast indeed.

The words of the Buddha alone fill one hundred volumes, and the commentaries by great Indian scholars fill more than two hundred. Then, add all the additional commentaries spoken or written since the Buddha’s time 2,500 years ago.

But don’t let the enormity of teachings intimidate you. The Buddhist teachings can also be encapsulated in a few words.

For example, the Buddha summarized his teachings in these four lines:

“Commit not a single unwholesome action.
Cultivate a wealth of virtue.
To tame this mind of ours.
This is the teaching of all the buddhas.”

-the Dhammapada

An entire book could be written about this short verse. But keeping it simple, it says Buddhism means refraining from harm, cultivating love, compassion, and beneficial actions, and purifying one's mind and heart from patterns of negativity.

Meditation is the primary Buddhist method for transforming the mind. There are several different forms of meditation in Buddhism.

For example, going from basic to more advanced:

• Mindfulness meditation

• Contemplation

• Loving-kindness meditation

• Compassion practices

• Deity practices that involve visualization and mantra

• The investigation of the mind

• Resting in pure awareness, also called the nature of mind

Some traditions include all these approaches, while others favor a few. It also depends on your inclinations. You may be drawn to the simplicity of sitting or love the complexity and symbolism of rituals.

You can choose the right fit for you.

The Dalai Lama offers another simple explanation of Buddhism. He says the action of Buddhism is non-harming, and the view (core principle) is interdependence.

Buddhism isn’t just about understanding your own mind. It also addresses the nature of reality. Its most fundamental tenet proposes that everything is impermanent, empty of inherent existence, and comes about due to causes and conditions.

Therefore, what we think, say, and do has an effect, for better or worse.

If that sounds abstract, don’t worry. There’s no need to understand every tenet of Buddhism from day one.

Based on the four-line verse above, Buddhism can be summarized in three words:

• peace

• compassion

• wisdom

Each is aligned with one of Buddhism's three “vehicles” (main approaches), but not necessarily in exclusion of the others.

There are many different ways to explain Buddhism. But these simple ones speak to me.

Why Buddhism Matters: Bringing an End to Suffering

In essence, Buddhism is about transforming negative emotions, cultivating positive qualities, remaining present in the moment, and seeing reality as it is rather than through the projections of your ordinary mind.

“If we know this, (if we are wise) we can see then any happiness or any suffering, depends entirely on the mind and how it perceives. So we will seek to find happiness and well-being within our own mind, and nowhere else. We know that since all the causes of happiness are already here, complete within us, it doesn’t depend on anything outside of us.” — the Third Dodrupchen Rinpoche

When you cannot work with your mind and emotions, you suffer. Thoughts and emotions quickly sweep you away, making you distressed, disturbed, and uncomfortable. You’ve experienced that, haven’t you?

At the same time, when you react from habitual, self-focused patterns, you’re more likely to cause suffering for others. That’s why the world is a turbulent mess.

Instead of identifying with transitory thoughts and emotions, you could switch your allegiance and begin to live from the ever-present awareness behind it all. This is what we learn to do in meditation and why the practice can have a powerful impact on our lives.

From this spacious perspective, thoughts and emotions are like clouds moving through a vast, open sky. They can’t harm you if you don’t hold onto them.

Most of our suffering arises from our thoughts, emotions, and steely attachment to our self-identity. Learning to take your thoughts, feelings, and even yourself less seriously reduces suffering for you and everyone else.

That is the beginning of true freedom.

Buddhism matters because it shows us the causes of suffering and how to reduce and ultimately remove suffering.

Isn’t that what we all truly want?

My Wayward Path

That’s the story of my love affair with Buddhism.

But it hasn’t been all rainbows and unicorns. There have been heartbreak, trauma, separation, and years spent wandering directionlessly in a spiritual desert. That’s one reason I can be considered a wayward mystic.

Not everyone you meet on your spiritual path has your best interest at heart. I’ve learned the hard way never to hand over my personal authority to a spiritual teacher.

Despite the pain, confusion, and detours, I remain steadfast in my devotion to Buddhism's essential principles: peace, compassion, and wisdom. Buddhism has opened my mind, softened my heart, and given me tools to live in greater peace and continue on the path of spiritual awakening.

I will be forever grateful.

You don’t have to be a Buddhist to believe in and live the core principles of the Buddhist teachings. I’m not bent on converting anyone to Buddhism.

However, I would love to convert the whole world to peace, compassion, and wisdom—the true essence of Buddhism.

Then, we would see heaven on earth.

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